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xx_milz_xx's Journal

2nd July, 2007. 9:16 pm.

oh god.
i cant believe its july already!!! the weather makes it feel like december in the antartica thoguh =[
anyways, im feeling fatter than ever this month, and its making start to self harm when i binge instead of purging =[  i hate it bc i dont like scars at all bc i want to be a model. which i highly doubt i ever will manage if i stay at this enormus weight of 126lbs.
i took up pilates about mid-june though and its been really fun and i feel more flexible than i did like a few months ago and seem to ahve more enegery...
im buying some hoodia tomorrow to because im on working experience so its like so much freedom compared to school. ive planned that in my lunch break, im gonna pop into holland and barret and hopefully will be able to get some (as long as theres no like age restriction for diet pills) and then will be very happy.
ive been trying loads of different diet things recently. i fasted for 2 days, then ponly had liquids, then only ahd 5 pieces of small sushi today (130cals) and tomorrow and hopefulkly for the rest of the week only fruit and veg =]
i hope it goes well, i wanna look great for this party this weekend-really wow some peopel haha,.

but i hope people dont start making fun of me saying iom too skinny and stuff-thats what happened last week (2 of my guy friends were syaing really mean stuff like i could open a bottle cap thing on my ribs bc they satick out so much-and yeh its nice of them to think that but it still hurts that they are laughng at me if that makes sense?)

anyways, i will stop rambling on and telling you my life story haha

stay strong girlies and boys =]

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Current mood: (i like that word-lol).
Current music: Maria Mena.

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4th June, 2007. 11:12 pm. err...

so my parents are going on holiday tomorrow.
leaving me at home on my own for a week with just my nan and brothers who hate me-it wil be great, i will be completely invisible.
i ordered online all my food and stuff im going to need as im starting a all fruit and veg diet starting tomorrow and am hoping it means i will stay full and not have so many calories because i read somewhere on the internet somehtign about fruits and vegs make it easier to burn fat =]
hopefully i can lose at least some weight before they come back and i have to try with more excuses why i dont want much dinner or any lunch...
anyways today was alright not my best but i only ate a weetabix, some rice cakes and a toasted bagel as well as mass water. i didnt go to the gym or anything though and its killing me i want to go now but its too late and i get scared-lol. 



Current mood: sleepy.
Current music: Superchick-Courage.

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3rd June, 2007. 12:54 am. Losing Weight

I have a huge problem with my hips and butt and i came across some exercises on the internet a few days ago which i have been trying (i want to lose 2 inches around my hips) and it doesn't seem to work.

I have the idea im not going near any food after 5pm and am locking myself in my room after that time.
I am drinking gallons of iced water because apparently that helps burn calories.
I am going to the gym everyday on the treadmill for 15mins then step ups for 10 mins then 20 leg curls on each leg and some floor exercises for 30 mins.

I hope my plan goes well and i really hope it works =]

xxx



Current mood: discontent.
Current music: Lost Prophets- A town called hypocrisy.

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